April 17, 2016 In Transgender & Nonbinary
“I Know I’m Trans…What Do I Do Now??”: Part Three
Realizing that you are trans/transgender is a big step. The process of figuring out what to do next can be overwhelming! This will be a multiple-part series on the different steps you can take to move forward with transitioning. Brought to you by Dara Hoffman-Fox, LPC, a gender therapist in Colorado, USA.
In Part Three I discuss the importance of getting support during this time of your life.
Links mentioned in the video:
Reader Q&A: “I’m Transgender and Feel Totally Alone
Coming Out as Transgender to Family & Friends
Gender Transition: The Leap of Brave Beginnings and 8 Ways You Can Help
Coming Out to Your Parents as Trans
Do you have experience with this, as well as advice of your own to share?
Please do so in the comments below!
Debbie BallardMarch 6, 2017 at 1:45 PM
I was pretty obviously transgender, back in a time when the only known transsexual was Christine Jorgensen. Ironically, when I actually TOLD my mother that I was a girl inside, that I hated being a boy… There was nothing she could do.
When she talked to therapists and doctors, they suggested brainwashing techniques we now call “Conversion Therapy” – sadly, my mother had experienced this horrible treatment. She vowed NEVER to let them do that to me.
I tried to talk to parents, a psychologist, several doctors, several therapists, from the 1960s to the 1990s. The first time I was even ACKNOWLEDGED, my therapist was telling my now ex-wife that I was so severely transgender that I was lucky to have survived to 34 years old.
In fact I couldn’t even count the number of times I tried to end my life, so I could move on to the next one. When puberty hit, I thought reincarnation was my only hope of being able to have a female body. I had big hips, long legs, feminine hands, but I also had a bass voice, was almost 6′ tall, and had hair where I didn’t want it.
I started to transition in 1990 and was living most time as female, living with 3 other women, and helping each other with our kids. However, when my ex showed me a letter from a social worker asking a judge to terminate all contact with my children, I had to abort that transition.
I didn’t take poison or walk out in front of buses this time, but I did double my weight, had a heart attack and a stroke, and only survived because my second wife recognized the symptoms and got me to the hospital in time. Even then, I refused to lift my DNR order, which meant no therapeutic coma. Miraculously I did recover from that as well.
I was 55 years old when my father, on his death bed, admitted that he had me surgically altered at birth, and that I should be my True Self, even if that meant being Debbie.
I did transition, and in fact had been in the process since my daughter graduated from college. Dad got to meet and fall in love with his Oldest daughter. I looked so much like my mother that he even called me by her name a few times.
Since transition, I have been happier, healthier, and “Younger” than I have been for a long time. I’m on HRT and have been approved for surgery by my insurance company once I lose about 40 more pounds. I have lost 40 so far.